I want her to know that I will never forget the important things she told me to always remember. The big things that maybe she hasn’t ever even realized she ever taught me. Things like how to remain strong when you feel so weak and how to find the patches of blue sky on the cloudiest of days or how to keep pushing when life feels like it’s too much. I swear it’s as if there isn’t a damn thing that can keep her down.
Life goes on as it does and we had our family struggles just as much as the next household but somehow she always had a special light for all of the dark times. Seven years ago my Mama was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer (don’t worry this isn’t a sad story, although u may shed a tear). I’m pretty certain that all of her kids and grandkids took the news worse than she did. While I stood outside in tears she stood in the kitchen baking cakes.
It was during that time that I learned how to be the rock my Mother has always been for the family as if the position was now passed on. How dare I let her see me cry when she stands with a smile on her face, I couldn’t. A year of chemo treatments and radiation and by then end of it all, in amazement, the doctor gave her the news that she is fully cancer free. The doctor was amazed but it’s as if my Mama knew all along that this was just another trial and a test she passed.
I remember laughing so hard one day while we were on our way to a chemotherapy appointment. My mama was so concerned to cook dinner that she just blurted out “ I don’t have time for all this S**T” When I asked what she was referring to she simply said Cancer and giggled.
Your strength has guided me all throughout my life. Times are changing and we aren’t getting any younger. I just want you to know that I am a rock that stands tall like a mountain because of you. When I lack the faith, courage, hope, strength, and understanding I just think of you and find my way. We may be states apart but you are always close to my heart. I am forever thankful.
In this New Year take time to remember the old years. Give recognition to your past because without it there is not future. Walking into 2017 I take this time to remember all of those before me, all of the women ancestors of my family line. I start with honoring my Mama, if you’re reading this Mama, I love you!!